A Winter Season - August 2014

It has been a cold old winter.  I have been in a personal 'winter of discontent' of sorts as well.  It has been a time of feeling empty and barren just like the season.  Mid June saw me recuperating from a knee operation and July from two bouts of a nasty flu type of virus that was circulating.  I don't think I have ever been as sick as this before with a virus. The worst part was not having much voice at all.  Not being able to sing was quite disheartening.  Normally, even when I am feeling a bit down, I can put on a cd, or pick up a guitar and have a good sing and it usually makes me feel much better... but not so this time.  It has even delayed the start of me working on my new cd 'Roses'....

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that life is moving in a forward direction (and not going around in circles) and that Winter is a necessary season for our souls, where we need to slow down, hibernate and replenish ourselves for the Spring which will come.  It is an act of Faith to keep believing that everything will be alright and as it is meant to be. I found myself in a place where I was empty and had nothing to offer, nothing I could really control...  and all I could do was to learn the art of surrendering to the Universe's good intentions for me. I am still learning.  It is amazing how we think we surrender, but really we withhold something that we really don't want to give up.  And just to gently remind me not to get carried away by any 'magical thinking'....and that learning to surrender is not giving away responsibility for my life and the actions that I take and do not take... I had a minor car accident.  So there I go, bleeding money again... money I can't really afford to lose that needs to go towards a cd.... I certainly felt miserable about this and was beating myself up about my carelessness... till I decided that maybe the panel beater needs my money at the moment and that while I needed to learn a lesson, all was not wasted... somebody else will benefit from my finances.

In the last two weeks, I have felt the ever so gentle stirrings of green shoots.  I even completed a song today after attending a funeral of one of my patient's yesterday. And maybe like Robbie Burns, I will be able to sing soon ....'Oh the winter it is past and the summer's come at last... and the small birds are singing in the trees..."  My voice is now fully back this week and I am looking forward to a new session that my musical partner and I will be starting at The Ascot Vale Hotel tomorrow.

One of the things I did in my quiet time of recuperation was to listen to a wise woman and read another of her books.  Maya Angelou died in June.  I find her writings and her teachings so moving and inspiring.  I had read her book 'I know why a caged bird sings' many years ago, during my first pregnancy.  When she died, I found myself reading her poems again and watching her talk via YouTube.  I wrote a song for her, based very loosely on her poem and more with what has resonated in me over the past few years, since leaving my marriage.  I am going to try and post it with this newsletter and hope that you like it.  It is recorded at home on my little hand held recorder.  This will be the opening track for my new cd when I start recording.  One of the things I learnt from her was about Courage.  Sometimes looking at something whole can be very overwhelming, but it is the little steps, the little actions that we need to take everyday that makes us courageous.

I hope you enjoy the song, and if you would like to leave me some feedback, I would be most interested in your opinions.  Also, I am looking at trying to finance this cd by pre-ordering the cd.  If you are interested in helping me with this project, leave your email on the contact page with a note and I will add to my mail out that I will be doing soon.

Blessings and love to you all.

1 comment

  • patrick.evans@optusnet.com.au
    Great song Suzette. Can't wait for the album! I'll add a saying to Mr Burns' line - "they say spring comes like a lion and leaves like a lamb....". I cant wait for the lion......

    Great song Suzette. Can't wait for the album! I'll add a saying to Mr Burns' line - "they say spring comes like a lion and leaves like a lamb....". I cant wait for the lion......

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